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Onion Swagology: Beowulf Blanket


beowulf blanket

Again, more great analysis from The Onion:

Item: A fake-fur blanket

Promoting: Beowulf

Relevance to product promoted: Huh? It arrived with no explanation, press releases or promo materials曜ust this big hairy thing that looks kind of like a skinned bear, with a “Beowulf” tag on it. Before seeing the movie, we assumed that a lot of its characters probably dressed in bearskins, what with the cold northern setting and savage hunter people and all. Having seen the movie, we’re guessing that it’s actually a commentary on all the people in the film who really could have used some sort of era-appropriate cloth to cover their frequent muscley CGI nakedness.

Item quality: 2. It’s certainly a useable blanket, for those who happen to like cheap, rough, itchy polyester fake fur. Hm. If this is what the characters had to wear, maybe there’s a reason no one in the movie can keep their clothes on for two straight hours.


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