The Onion gets an ancient Twinkie:
Item: Disturbia Home Confinement Kit
Promoting: The theatrical release of the teen Rear Window remake Disturbia
Relevance to product promoted: Creepy. In the film, surly Shia LaBoeuf is confined to his home for several months after punching an obnoxious teacher, and he whiles away the days with all-night voyeurism and weird projects like building an elaborate Twinkie tower. The kit includes a Twinkie, a can of Red Bull (for staying awake while spying on your neighbor to see if he’s a serial killer), and a pair of cheap binoculars.
Item quality: 4. The binocs aren’t too impressive, but the Twinkie and Red Bull are presumably the real thing. We’ll have to wait until we get home-confined to find out. (Note: We will not be eating the Twinkie. It has an expiration date of March 2000. Who even knew that Twinkies were capable of expiring?)