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Onion Swagology: The Talkin’ Optimus Prime Blues


talking-optimus prime

From my favorite swagologists:

Item: Talking Optimus Prime Action Figure

Promoting: Transformers

Relevance to product promoted: Huh, let’s see, a Transformers movie and a giant, expensive toy of a robot that changes into some sort of automobile? Call us dense, but we really aren’t seeing a meaningful connection between the two.

Item quality: 5. According to its box, the figure’s “Advanced Automorph Technology Triggers Electronic Lights And Sounds.” So, you know, it’s got that going for it. Additionally, it’s got all the strengths of the Transformers movie (a neato robot-truck dude, weird noises, shiny lights) with none of its weaknesses (incoherent editing, labored scatological humor, a bloated running time, etc. etc. unto infinity).


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